Birthday Behaviour

Gemini season is finally upon us, which can only mean one thing; my birthday is just around the corner.

With only a matter of days to go until the big day, I can’t help but sit and reflect on what nearly 3 decades of living on this earth has bestowed upon me.

My life is still very much under construction.

under construction

I still haven’t quite managed to work out the finer details of what being an adult entails, namely trying to figure out what it is that I truly want from this journey called life. And although I’m still a work in progress, I am actually quite content with who I am as a person. My career and personal relationships may still be loading in the background, but me, myself and I, we are doing great.

I have invested so much time in the last few years carving a place in my life solely just for me. I am much more selfish with my time. I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense from people anymore. I’m comfortable saying ‘No’ quite often.  I’m just not willing to dim my light any longer.

I have been guilty in the past (and still to some extent to this present day) of putting the needs of others before my own, that I lost sight of who I am. I got lost in the fog of other people’s emotions and accomplishments that I found it hard to distinguish where others ended and I began. Living for and through others can really leave you in a sunken place.

My life hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows but show me someone’s life that is and I’ll show you a liar. Every tear shed, every scar etched on my skin, every smile sprinkled on my lips have all made me the person that I am today.fairtyaly.gif

There isn’t a fairy godmother or magic pixie dust at the end of the tunnel to turn you into a beautiful swan. There is and will always just be you to turn your life around and do with it what you will.

Being the best you makes all the difference, not only to yourself but also to those around you.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I bemoan my lack of this or that, but I always catch and remind myself that I am doing much better than yesterday and everything else will come in its time.

I have come so far in my journey of self-love that there is no turning back.

So, as my birthday rolls around like a thief in the night to add another year to my life, I will raise a glass with my loved ones and give thanks that I am still me:

Beautiful, passive, giving, funny, sarcastic, loyal, annoying me.

I’m just me and I’m quite happy being just that.cake 3

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